A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm and tells everyone it can play any musical instrument in the world. They all laugh at him so he wagers $50 to anyone who has an instrument the octopus cannot play.
One man approaches with a guitar and sets it down. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix.
Next up is a trumpet and the octopus blows it as well as Dizzie Gillespie.
Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. The octopus fumbles with them for a minute before sitting them down with a confused look.
"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can't you play it?"
The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to make love to it as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off."
Artwork by Dave Perillo, joke sent by reader Craig Frazier.
I love it when the Internet Gods bring me a random, unexpected octopus.
This was sent to me the other day by a very dear old friend. No further comment required.
Submitted without comment by reader Ruth Withrow Kurtz:
Reader John Abenroth sent me this joke. It's awful. So awful I can't bring myself to tell it. Besides, Rick Grimes already has it covered for me: